Taking a break from preparing course slides tonight, I scanned through the New York Times Op-Ed and caught sight of this article: A Saint's Dark Night. It talks about Mother Teresa's private journals and letters, excerpts of which were recently published. Interestingly, instead of a person who was always grounded in God and never doubted Him, apparently Mother Teresa suffered from long periods of darkness and doubt which lasted for decades.
When I was reading that, my first thought was to say, "No Way!" How could this wonderful woman, whose life personified what God would have wanted us to do with our lives, even have periods of doubt -- let alone a protracted period lasting for decades?
On second thought, however, I thought of a good friend whose faith I greatly respect -- one of those rare peoples whom I can point to and say that his life lives out the faith that he believes in. And yet he has also said to me that he thinks that there will always "be an element of doubt that will never be removed". Even Philip Yancey says that he wishes that God would just work a miracle for him and remove all shreds of doubt.
Maybe doubt is something that is inevitable, it will stay with us as long as we are on this side of heaven.
How horrible it must have been for Mother Teresa, though, to have such a long period of darkness, lasting *decades*! But I guess that God would not have put her through that if He had not known that she could have borne it. And the article writes that through these periods of darkness, she experienced an inkling of the sense of abandonment that the poor and destitute must feel, possibly contributing to the efficacy of her ministry to the same poor and destitute.
I guess, in Him, all things work together for good. Even if those things suck.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Is God There?
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2 comments:
The possibility of doubt is what makes it faith. If no doubt is possible then no faith is needed. What is surprising is how long it lasts. What is amazing is how long she retains her faith despite the doubt. Faith is both reason and emotion. And both are important. One can supplement the other.
I always liked to equate "faith" with "faithfulness" -- that if you have faith, then you should be faithful as well -- in thought and in deed.
Which then makes it as much a matter of discipline and will as emotion.
But I never equated the necessity of doubt to the existence of faith in the way that you did. I mean, it makes sense, but I never reasoned about it in that way. But then, faith to me has already been will and emotion, and reason had never really much come into it.
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