Married, Divorced, Single

At lunch today, one of my colleagues brought up this story about a female convict, who fell in love with a male convict, and after she was released, applied and was granted permission to go and marry him in prison. The male convict is serving a long-term sentence, and it will be years before he's even eligible for parole. So for a number of years, the woman will be married to somebody whom she can't see or touch, except on supervised prison visitations.

My colleagues were quite puzzled as to why any woman would choose to put herself into this situation. A few years ago, I would have felt the same way. However, surprisingly, I felt that I understood how the woman must have felt. Having a criminal record, she must have been thinking that her chances at marriage were slim. Faced with the possible alternative of a life as a single woman, she chose to at least be married, even if she had to be telling people that her husband was a criminal serving a prison sentence.

It reminds me of a conversation I had with a friend some time ago. This friend, who is by *any* standards a well-educated, logical person, told me that he/she "would rather have been married and divorced, rather than still a single". The reason being that divorced meant that one had made a mistake, while being single implied that one was weird.

The sad thing is that, even though I have very strong views against divorce and, compared with many of my peers, I feel less pressure to get married, I actually can empathize with that view!. How terrible it must be for some other people, I can only imagine.